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Blinded by Fame

by Dutch Interior

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1.
Be Intense 04:39
I’d like to change my stripes. I’d like to be Intense, but I don’t have the look and I can’t find the nerve. Every word betrays the act, I’m less convincing than the rest. You catch me laughing at myself, or read my shaking lips. My hands shake with the height of this place, and my body shows all its weight in this glow. I’d like to change my step, I’d like to feel a dance, but I don’t have the look and I can’t take that chance. My hands shake with the height of this place, and my body shows all its weight at this stage.
2.
Don’t give me no bible to put my face in, ‘cause I’ll eat the pages up just to clear an indigestion. ‘Cause I gave the word a shot, but then the devil brought me pot, and the two of us really hit it off. Don’t tell me it’s vital to know the son of mary. I don’t need no soul revival, I think I’d rather just be buried. They say the end is coming soon, but then again it’s only noon, and none of us have really much to lose. Ooh I’ll be damned. Seems every preacher is just some business ambassador, combs his hair like a greaser and pisses dogma out a catheter. They always say they know it well, to heed their words or go to hell, but none of it is ringing any bells. Ooh, I’ll be damned.
3.
I will wait in West Virginia where I know the sun will rise again. I will pay restitution for all the crimes that I commit. I will do the time, I will pay the fine, I will say I’m sorry my friend. I will wait in West Virginia where I know the sun will rise again.
4.
If I broke the windows in my house and willed the pieces back together, would I retain the same view I paid so much for back in the nineties? The sun through broken glass was the sea, and microplastic plankton flowed through me. I am drenched in blinding light, the light of becoming. Monopoly paper floating ‘round, like some failed bank bust just went down. Everyone’s still got their heads on the ground. It’s my money and I need it now. This light so trite it’s bringing on the night, and lulling me to sleep, and beaming through my dreams. Today I might truly make my bed, and tuck the corners in, and don the perfect skin.
5.
Sometimes I wish I had a swimming pool. It’s not me but it seems pretty cool to dive in on a hot day, floaties on my pale arms. I heard my friends ain’t doing so hot, locked inside and left to rot. Central Asia’s a long way, and I’m leaving soon. And I found myself praying, the first time in a decade, in my tent with a stomach ache. I try to mend these chunks of me laid out with seasonings. Miss Nebraska I ate you, and you’re eating me too. Spent a decade like a feral cat. Ice your friends and eat some rats. Wander in through a flap door, nobody’s home. I try to write how it feels to lose friends and a lover: it’s like eating human meat. There’s a hole in the bottom of my favorite boat, come swim in it. Or plug it up with the letters that I wrote, just saying that the price just wasn’t fair, and the flood costs brought me there, and I’ve found a new place to be, in a cave with furnishings.
6.
In Dodge 03:19
Took your own advice to get outta dodge. To live another life, just because. But the predators are circling you. Footsteps outside your room prove. You took daydreams to heart, round of applause. Forced a hard restart, just because. But the predators are circling you. Footsteps outside your room prove. Now your chickens come home to roost. All your creditors look to loot. And the cycle, it’s in vicious pursuit, and your teacher is calling on you. Took your own advice to get out of dodge.
7.
Hello, hello procession, I let go of all conventions. Washed clean of the dirt I ought to be.
8.
From outside of the window in the gray of morning, I can hear the pandemonium of parrots sing songs of belonging to anywhere but here. It’s just convenience, pure convenience. A Pandemonium of parrots singing through the screen, it isn’t what you think when you think of perfect harmony. Apartments overgrown by their chaotic melody. We all take the screams with our morning coffee. Ooh.
9.
It’s so hard to walk around with my knuckles on the ground. I wanna show ‘em what I’m all about. Speak with emphasis and ease, tell ‘em stories that they’ll believe, leave impressions worth remembering. Oh remember me. Keep it cool just out of spite, only show my face at night. See me glowing in the shadow light. And if I ever get the chance to show someone of my romance, they’d tell their friends I’ve studied candle’s dance. Oh the man can dance. Devil’s on my shoulder kicking at my neck. But it’s a tempting feat at most to be loved by all the ghosts. The city of angels found its demon host. But I could use a bit of pain from the lights on center stage. Show me how to be blinded by fame. Oh, blinded by fame.
10.
A shadow’s always following less than a step behind. The sun’s burning my eyes. I can hardly see a thing. Cables crossing over me bringing shapes out of the sky. Maybe I’m high and they’re just telephone lines. And I can feel the sidewalk crack beneath my shoes, the whole world’s coming loose. And is this what I deserve for walking through a suburban blur of blue? Now I can walk in block shaped circles to see familiar things. Maybe all that I need is to watch my walkin’ feet. Oh, but every lawn is green, why won’t they leave me be? Just leave me be. My shadow and me. I can feel the sidewalk crack beneath my shoes, weeds are poking through. But I walk until the streetlights buzz a tune, calling up the moon.

about

Blinded by Fame was made in an uninsulated detached garage via a Tascam TSR8 tape machine. All sessions took place between July 2022 and February 2023

Earnest thanks to Hayden Barton, Abbey Reese, Bobby Anaya, Gabby Gray, Kialey Hail for being our core supporters during these recordings; Patrick Topp for his encouragement and handwriting, and August Holt for the collage.

credits

released May 26, 2023

Blinded by Fame was written by Dutch Interior, produced and mixed by Conner Reeves, and mastered by De Stevens

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all rights reserved

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Dutch Interior Los Angeles, California

Los Angeles Freak Americana

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